Are you guilty of having stayed in a relationship past its use-by date? If you have, you’re certainly not alone. Whether you’ve been feeling uneasy about your relationship for a while, or haven’t seemed to notice that your once magical connection has now turned toxic, it’s time to start asking why you’re still there.
- You don’t want to cause hurt.
This is a pretty noble reason, on the surface. But ultimately you are doing more damage than good. It’s understandable that you don’t want to cause another person harm, particularly someone that you genuinely care about. But you have to acknowledge and accept that your partner is absorbing the disconnection you feel, whether consciously or not. And that is devastating to someone’s self-esteem and self-worth. It’ll hurt for a while, but you will do less damage in the long run by ending it when you’re no longer invested
2. You are scared of the alternative.
Either you don’t want to be alone or you don’t think you can do better. Neither of those reasons are valid for staying in an unfulfilling relationship. Sorry. If you’re scared to be alone, then you 100% need to be alone. Your entire identity and self-worth is wrapped up in whether someone else thinks you are worthy of their commitment. That’s not good. And it doesn’t make for a satisfying or happy relationship.
And if you don’t think you can do better than your current partner, despite not being happy, then you also have some self-worth issues to work through. It’s not about ‘doing better’ it’s about whether or not you value yourself enough to be with someone that is your best friend and who is a genuine partner. Be alone. Realise that you’re awesome and that you genuinely deserve a fulfilling romantic relationship.
And how should you do it? Be honest. Be empathetic. Maintain your boundaries. You can’t make it better for them, but you can make it clear and respectful.